I had a different post lined up for this week, but I didn't have the energy to finish it off. So we are pulling one from the archive. I thought this was fitting, given that I am looking ahead to my November & December budgets and finally trying to reckon with this COVID hole I have been digging myself.
--This blog was originally published on Not Ladylike, February 11, 2020--
Values Based Budgeting and FOMO is really helping me with my goals this month!
Recently, I voiced a realization that felt really true to me in the moment. And it's still resonating two weeks later now that I've had a chance to digest it. I don't get FOMO for places or activities. I get FOMO for the people. It's the human connection that I crave....that I envy. (Is that how everyone experiences FOMO?)
Now that I've recognized and named it, I can identify those FOMO feelings when I have them and work through them. I know that this energy is negative and does not serve me. So, how to turn it around? With Values-Based Budgeting that's how!
Talk about an(other) unexpected discovery!
I joined in to Bravely Go's "No Spend February" so I've been diving into articles on her site. And she is a huge advocate for Values Based Budgeting. Essentially, VBB asks you to build a budget around your personal values. And not on external expectations of what your life "should" look like or what other people spend their money on.
OH YES THERE IT IS!
By letting my values dictate what I want to spend my money on I am able to stop and evaluate the FOMO and move past it. Say a group of friendlies dress up and go out to the bar. I don't drink and I don't place (social or monetary) value on a night out like that, but I feel FOMO. Why?! Those people are spending their money on their values, which are different than mine. (And that's okay!) But they got to hang out with each other when they do it, and that's the source of my FOMO.
ALL OF THIS TO SAY...
I value spending time with my friends. Now I can do the work to align this value with my money goals, and cut out the FOMO. You (theoretically) can't be afraid of missing out if you're doing the planning and hosting. Hence, Galentine's Brunch.
It helps that Galentine's Brunch was one of my actions within my goal of "Belonging" this year. Made it much easier to identify it as a value and make space for it in my budget.
I got to hang out with my friends and family. I spent my money on, and made space in my budget for something I value. I had an amazing time. And I achieved a goal for the year!
TIPS FOR ALL OF US
For those of you out there who also experience FOMO perhaps here is a tip that might work for you. The next time you see a photo and feel that twinge initial twinge of envy / FOMO pause. Breathe. And try to dive deep into the why behind the feeling. Is there a value behind that FOMO? Is there another feeling that you are chasing? Could you make space for something in your life - an action - that could get you closer to that feeling?
This will at least give you something to do as your face is turning green and it might also help future feelings of FOMO be softer. And then disappear eventually. That's the ideal state right? Who am I kidding...that's probably not going to happen. But we can hope!
Read more here about how I chose my guiding word for 2020.
Here is an article on Bravely Go specifically about Values Based Budgeting.